Learning vocabulary is difficult. It takes years to develop enough word knowledge to use English effectively on a daily basis, but sometimes even a working vocabulary isn't enough. Sometimes you learn words from the movies, the internet, or your friends that you really shouldn't use in polite company. These words fall into three basic groups: bodily functions, swear words, and delicate subjects. Fortunately, there are polite ways to say all of these same things. Let's look at them one group at a time.
Bodily Functions: These are very common things that we do with our bodies, (or that our bodies do on their own!) For each bodily function, we'll look at up to four different ways to say it: rude ways, the polite ways, the ways children say it, and the scientific way. If there are different parts of speech, like verbs and nouns, they will be marked differently. Please note: there may be lots of other rude ways to say these things, but I'm only including one or two of the most common rude terms so you'll know which words to avoid and what to say instead. If you want to learn those other rude ways, you'll have to do that research on your own.
Rude!:shit, crap (both verb & noun)
More Polite: use the facilities, go to the bathroom, do number 2, take care of some business / number 2
Used with children: poo, poop, make doody / poo, poop, doody
Scientific: defecate / excrement, stool,
Rude!: piss (both verb & noun)
More Polite: use the facilities, go to the bathroom, do number 1, take a leak, relieve myself / number 2
Used with children: pee, peepee, tinkle / pee, peepee
Scientific: urinate / urine
Rude: fart (both verb & noun)
More Polite: pass gas, expel gas, break wind, let one go, let one rip / gas
Used with children: cut the cheese /
Scientific: flatulate / flatulence
A Little Rude: burp (both verb & noun)
More Polite: belch / belch
Used with children: (no special words)
Scientific: eructation (Most people don't say this.)
Swear Words: Swear words, or curses, are a kind of extreme exclamation that we use to express emotions, like anger or surprise. The point of this section is to give you more polite ways to express yourself when you're with people you should treat politely, like teachers, coworkers, public officials. This list will just include the rude form and the more polite forms.
Rude: Shit! Crap! Holy Shit!
More Polite: Shoot! Shucks! Holy smokes!
Rude: Damn! Damn it!
More Polite: Darn! Darn it!
Rude: God! My God!
More Polite: Gosh! Goodness! My Goodness!
Rude: Jesus! Jesus Christ!
More Polite: Jeez! Jeesum Crow!
Rude: Hell! What the heck!
More Polite: Heck! What the heck!
Delicate Subjects: Delicate subjects include subjects that we don't want to talk about directly because people feel bad about these things. Most of these relate to death. There's something so harsh about saying that someone is dead directly, so we have lots of indirect ways to talk about death and other delicate subjects. There are many slang ways of saying these things, too, but I will not go over them here.
Direct: died, is dead
Indirect: passed, passed away, is no longer with us, is at peace, is at rest
Direct: is pregnant
Indirect: is expecting, is in the family way, is eating for two, is with child
Direct: miscarried (miscarriage is when a baby dies before it is born)
Indirect: lost the baby
Direct: is unemployed
Indirect: is between jobs, is looking for work
Direct: are separated (when a married couple lives apart and is thinking about divorce)
Indirect: are taking/spending some time apart
Direct: argue or fight with someone
Indirect: have words with someone, have a disagreement, don't see eye to eye
Direct: is depressed
Indirect: is blue, looks blue, looks/is down (in the dumps)
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